Tamatar waale ki kahani

As I sit and write this blog, I realise that the next 5 months would be crucial. With no funding from the college, my resources are burning up faster than a rocket burns fuel(yikes, what an analogy....hehe) 42 point something something times faster than it would have burnt had I been in India sitting idle. With the insecurities gradually turning into fear, I happened to receive this mail from my friend telling me of a story of the fallen tomato cart. Heres the story. The mail claims it is written by some CEO by the name bagchi. Cant really comment on that but that is unimportant anyways. I found the story interesting and it made me sit up and think. Its interesting that the when I see and compare myself against the tomato vendor, things seem so much better. I have a roof over my head, I have been admitted to a good school. Its true, that we ponder with the what ifs and what if nots that we forget about living in the present. Although the story hasnt lifted my spirits to an extent to which I would have liked it to, but when I see the bigger picture, the longer run (some of the mgmnt mumbo-jumbo that I have learnt), I realise that things will hopefully change and change for the better. I guess I will have to just wait a lot more, dunno how much, but seems like lady luck is still aint impressed with me. Will need some magic for things to change. I hope the wait isnt too long. 5 months to go and the clocks ticking and with each tick, my pulse rates increasing. I just hope that my hope is not hoping against hope. Else work on the backup plan of Wada Paav stall at times square would begin. Beware McD, you guys better hope that things change at my end, else its bad news for you guys.......

'Advice' is what you get when you ask for money

Yep, these are the words with which my previous CTO described the condition which they faced when they went to VCs for funding their startup. I am reminded of the same words as I face almost the same condition. Well, not exactly the same condition, but am looking for money.Anyways, so have met many people and them for funds, and each one has one same advice. "Commit for a PhD, We need long term commitment". So my take is, isnt 2 years long term? Theres this one project which has funding up until 2010. So if the project is not going to last for the entire duration of my PhD, why should these guys expect a long term commitment from me? Anyways, So everyday, my routine has been to pick up my sack, go to some prof, beg for funds, tell him that I am undecided on a PhD, and see the change in his expression, hear the same old advice, thank him, walk back dejected every single day. Dunno how many more times will I have to face the same thing. Seems like this number is going to be high.
Some days I ponder whether this is what I deserve? But then, life wouldnt be life had it been fair you see, atleast in the short term, atleast that is what I would like to believe so.
So here I am, having forefeited a fairly comfy life in search for a more comfy life. I just hope I havent screwed it up. Only time shall tell.
Yeah, "Advice" is surely what you get when you ask for money.

Missing my company.............

Having left my job in the last month and getting back to the old grind of academics, heres the list of things that I am missing.....(not in any particular order)

1) Evening snacks and the long chat sessions with my friends
2) Weekly movie
3) Friends
4) Night outs in front of terminals
5) TT Table
6) Free beverages and biscuits
7) Sweets at desk
8) My Salary :(
9) Flexi timings
10) The parties - birthday, team lunches, release parties.....
11) Entertainment server
:(

Missing everything :(