Kuch bhi ho sakta hai.....

This song has been rising up the charts on my playlist. Its been made famous by Slumdog Millionaire.

The very first time I heard that it was sung by a female named M.I.A. I had made up my mind on who was MIA. She has to be an afro-american or an afro-british because the song sounded to me like a hip hop song.(I aint very good at finding genres of song though, have to admit that) but yes, the point was the song sounded like it had been sung by someone from the afro community. A few days ago, my friend did a wiki on MIA and guess what. MIA is apparently of Sri Lankan origin and her real name is....OK here it comes - Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam. What the....I was totally zapped. It was akin to maybe like....A sheikh by the name "Shin Jee lee"!!! or a Kathakali expert named Joginder Singh Barnala!! Arulpragasam sounds like a female whos an expert in carnatic music, surely not hip hop/rap(she has a Grammy nomination too). Its amazing how I make up preconceived notions of so many things. I must have formed early opinions of so people,things and even thoughts! A hip hop/rap song has to be sung by an afro-american or eminem, a sheikh has to be a muslim, u surely cant have a punjabi performing Kathakali.Phew, looks like anythings possible. Need to stop categorizing/typecasting. Need to stop being so judgmental. Need to open up my mind. Need to start believing that in today's world anythings possible. Adidas tag line now seems to be more appealing. Surely looks like impossible is nothing.

Note to Self

Rules for dealing with a geek freak

Rule 1) Never try to befriend a geek freak. The only reason to approach him is if you have a technical doubt. Ofcourse, in this case be ready for some condescension.
Rule 2) Geek freaks are robots in human form.
Rule 3) You build a better camaraderie with a dog as compared to 'it'.
Rule 4) One of the easiest ways of making a fool of yourself is to expect something from a geek freak.(Actually expecting anything from anyone, apart from self is a bad idea)
Rule 5) Never ever forget the above rules.

Jaded....

Another one of those days when I did no physical activity, but feeling all tired, energy sapped, drained. Getting over physical exhaustion is pretty eazy but this kind of mental exhaustion is kinda killing me. I think the cause is the constant commotion of thoughts inside. I wish us humans had this mental switch by way of which they could simply turn off this tiring mental activity, the continuous thought factory could be shut down for maintenance for a while. Life could have been just a wee bit more smoother and easier. Guess with evolution, the switch shouldn't be too far away........Infact we hear the medical term "Brain dead". How about inducing this state artificially for a while. Shutting down should be easy I guess, its the restarting that should involve some thinking :) Till then, I shall seek refuge in Gunda :D

Amru Prof's poems.....

After my failed attempt to write poems in one of my blogs, I have decided to spare my handful of blog readers(and that includes me:P) from this agony.......for now. Hehehe..... More of my such hideous works, later.

For now, check out a few favorite poems of a prof. I especially liked TTT :)...probably because, thats the only one I understood completely. There were a few that I understood nothing.

Extended Boot up

My Laptop has an extended boot up process.....

Login -> Open FF -> gmail -> ibnlive -> cricinfo -> orkut -> blogger -> gmail -> ....
The rest of the stuff(read studies) seem to be an ISR.

Directionless......

Sometimes you look at people around you and you feel-'oh man, such easy lives these guys have'. They have found all the pieces of 'their' puzzle of life and most of the pieces fit amazingly well. And here you are, forget about solving the puzzle, you don't even know what your right puzzle is! These are the thoughts that are running in my head right now.

I know this ain't jealousy or anything, its just plain frustration of not being able to figure what to do. I feel like a sailor lost in the sea, having no map. Even if I had the map, I wouldn't know what to do with it, coz I just have no freaking idea of where to go. Going along where the wind takes my dinghy. Some say journey is the destination. Kinda agree but I ain't that saint. I certainly wouldn't mind some stopovers.

Predictably irrational like me

These days I have been stumbling a lot(easiest and cheapest way to kill time). An interesting page came up whose page was titled Predictably irrational. The title sounded interesting. So I checked it out.

The article is essentially an outline of a book. The book deals with psychology of the human mind in decision making and how the decisions are affected by other factors. An interesting read. The experiments carried out by the experimenters are fascinating and the conclusions drawn from them are all the more 'unsurprising'. I read them and found myself saying "Hey, that is so true with me".

I especially liked the subject titled "The cost of Social Norms". It has an interesting take on start-ups. It goes like this:
"It's remarkable how much work companies (particularly start-ups) can get out of people when social norms (such as the excitement of building something together) are stronger than market norms (such as salaries stepping up with each promotion)."
I immediately could identify myself with it having worked in a start-up. Imho, an even greater challenge that a start-up faces is when it enters a transition phase from being a 'new born' start-up to 'teenager' semi mature company. Now, in a semi mature company, since the product has reached a certain level of maturity, new exciting work (a.k.a. cutting edge tech. or bleeding edge) may not be available to all. A few chosen ones get the 'new exciting work' whereas the rest get the mundane maintenance activity. The 'market norm' kicks in and the company starts treating a few on an impersonal level because the carrot of "good work" can no more be shown. This in turn gives rise to disgruntled and frustrated employees. The employee no more works for his company but for himself. This attitude is hazardous to the start-up as it invariably leads to poor craftsmanship. This condition is irreversible. So, once an employee is treated with the attitude that "This is the work you are going to get, take it or leave it", the employee even if given better quality work in future, knows that he is dispensable and keeps on under performing.
The article makes a very good point about Company-consumer relationship that -
"Companies that try to market based on social norms ("like a good neighbor...") but fail to follow through (e.g. imposing nuisance fees) end up in a worse position. Consumers take personal offense when a relationship framed as a social exchange turns out to be a market one."
I believe it holds true for Employer-employee relationship too and hence start-ups need to double think before treating anyone with the "market norm". Guess, there would be exceptions to this rule too.

Other interesting conclusions were:
"The Influence of Arousal" : Now we know the scientific proof of the need of a skimpily clad model in almost all the ads. Hehehe :D

"Keeping Doors Open" : How many times have I waited until the last moment to choose or until one choice has disappeared?

The article has some real life examples of each implication. Worth a read:)

Resolutions '09

Ok, I haven't been a huge fan of New Year Resolutions, but just for the sake of increasing my blog count (Ya, I know, am a bit of a narcissist that way, thank you :D), I take up this activity. By doing this I am breaking my last year's resolution of 'Not making any more New Year resolutions'. So you see, I don't have an awesome history of keeping my resolutions. So anyways, what the heck....Here goes:

In the Year 2009, I resolve

1) To read more books- Everytime I go into a book store, I get a feeling that 'Man! I have so much to read.' Alas! this feeling lasts only up until I am inside the store. :) So, say around 10? Yes, not too high, not too low. The aim is pretty achievable, Lets hope so :P

2) To lose weight- Hehe, I am LMAO as I even write this coz I know this aint gonna happen. But anyways, will 'try' to lose 5Kg this year. That doesnt mean, I will let go of the ice creams, cakes, chocs. That aint gonna happen. Sorry.

3) To worry/cry/crib less and enjoy/laugh/smile more :)

4) To reduce the number of snap judgements I make esp. w.r.t. people

5) To spend more time offline.

6) To realise that "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." (With ack to Randy Pausch)

Hmmm, thats more than enough. Wait, theres one more

7) To write more blogs.
Hehehe....

Did I miss out on any? Well, then I also resolve

8) To resolve any resolutions next year,(hopefully)that I may have missed to resolve this year.

As I finish writing, I realise that "resolve" can also mean "re-solve" so that means I get another chance to solve if I fail to resolve? I should be right? As it is, I am re-solving which means I have tried it to "solve" it earlier but since I failed, I am re-solving?
What am I writing!!!! Seems like I have gone on a high without any liquor. High on Life probably....

Adios 2008, 2009 - what do you have in store for me boss?

Life sure is a Ferris Wheel....atleast for me.

The title has been borrowed/plagiarised/copied/inspired from Charuta's blog. Ack to Charuta. But the last 4 months have made me appreciate the analogy even more. Its been over 4 months of my graduate studies here in the US and it now feels like my ferris wheel has been 'not so gently' pushed, in fact it has been pushed pretttty hard. Great news, good news, ok news, not so ok news, depressing news, not so ok news, ok news, good news and back again to great news. The cycle goes on and on and on. You cant help yourself but just ride it. We enjoy the ride on its way up but become all grumpy on our way down. OK, maybe its incorrect to generalise, just replace the "We/our" with "I/my" in the previous line.

The last 4 months have been quite a learning and humbling experience for me. The disappointments were sad,depressing and hard to swallow, but the little moments of success did cover up for the disappointments, well almost. Us humans are so filled up with insatiable hunger, to the point of being haawrat(marathi). As the ad goes "Thoda aur chalega", everytime we lose something, we say, well atleast itna to milna chahiye tha. And when we get that, we say, ok this is fine, but should have got much more. I mean, when will this ever stop? Guess, this is what makes us humans go higher,deeper,faster,stronger etc etc. but it also brings in a sense of incompleteness, unhappiness.

Veered off topic, the point was the 4 months have been an education in itself. With 3 years of work experience, you get used to a certain way of life, enjoying on weekends, not thinking to much on daily/weekly/monthly spendings, eating out without the guilt.....all this changed. Coming to gatech, I soon realized that life aint that simple. My hopes of job and/or funding vanished faster than ummm...well something that vanishes fast.(hehe, couldnt find an analogy.) Rejections at job interviews, refusals and banishment from professors' office, all were bitter pills to swallow. Small incidents like the one at the grocery store when we had to remove some items from our basket as we didnt have enough money or the one at Macy's store when the security person mocked at us when we told him we had no car were unthinkable just a few months back. I had learnt my lesson. I had come to the US with some assumptions. The assumptions proved to be incorrect. I feel much more grounded and humble than I was ever before. Now the weekends dont hurt any more:)

Last week, seemed to find favor with lady luck and the ferris wheel has come a full circle but this time some things are different. I dont know whether to celebrate this little moment of success because I fear, that the dark clouds might just be around the corner, waiting for the moment when you think, things are fine. And then, they turn up like uninvited guests to ruin your moment.Gita(not the female, but the book :D) talks about the state of sthithapragya. I do understand its relevance, all the more at this moment.

I think this time around with a few things going my way, i will be wary because the ferris wheel just keeps on going up and then down and then up again. I know that "This too shall pass", but deep down I hope that it doesn't.

I sure do hate Mondays........

Found this video. Dedicated to most of my friends in the software industry. Yeah, most coz a few of them actually wait for monday so that they can get back to computer, office and work. Man.....

P.S. For people with slow bandwidth - here are the lyrics.

Quantum of Solace, Dostana

It was my first movie theatre experience in the states yesterday. After months of dwelling as to whether spend so much on the entertainment, me and my friends decided that we indeed needed a change a. la. Obama and then the change did come to Westshire. Hehehe. So we thought to wait for the new Bond movie to be released in the states which was released one week earlier in India.(OK that was surprising!!)

If people were expecting that after the Casino Royale humanisation of Bond, the producers might take back Bond to the pedestal of invincibility, then they would be disappointed. James Bond is more human and more vulnerable in this movie and that is why I liked it. He makes mistakes, gets his tuxedo dirty, gets his aston martin all crushed, gets hit hard, gets a bloody nose.....unlike the previous Bonds, where you would need a lens to find a speck of dirt on his suit. The action sequences are simply awesome and worth a balcony ticket in the theatre. I enjoyed Craig's performance though his role demanded not many expressions. Bond babe-Olga has quite a meaty role in the action sequences - again a shift from the previous bond movies. The other babe has almost a non-existent role. Overall worth a spend. Caution: Watching this movie from the front rows might make you a zombie after you come out.:)

We came home and decided to watch Dostana - OMG why did we do that? The movie sucks. If you want to see how even a rock can have more expressions then humans-Bobby 'dagad' deol and Johny boy, watch this film. We had a laugh riot not because of any of the jokes but just because of how stupid a movie can be. Apparently it is a copy, albeit a pretty bad one. A few scenes have been picked up from F.R.I.E.N.D.S Typical KJo movie, all exotic locations, targetted towards the NRI audience, with all the actors, faking a US accent. Dunno why they do that?WATCH THIS MOVIE AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The evolution of the westshire scavengers....

Ok, my roommates will kill me for branding everyone a scavenger. So sorry guys:).No offense intended.:P One of the things that non funded Indian Grad students do(atleast we do:P) is look around for stuff on the roads. US guys have this habit of use and throw stuff(In a more euphemistic tone, place it outside their homes....near their dustbins...:D) and many times in pretty good condition. So we now have stuff like sofas,radio,furniture,lamps,ovens,bose sound system(ya, but it doesnt work....damn). We have come a long way in our scavenging pursuits. Here are some of the stages that we have been through. Adding some examples of items that we have brought :P

Stage-1 a.k.a 'Fukat te paushtik' stage -
Utility - Who cares?!!!
Space in house - Who cares?!!!
e.g. Electric candle - Power cuts are a rarity, and even if one happens, what are we going to do with an electric candle?Hehehe

Stage-2 a.k.a 'Lets try to use it' stage -
Utility - Is it really useful? Well, may be or may be not, lets 'try' to use it :) which never happens. hehehe
Space in house - Shall make space for this!!!
e.g.Electric portable Fan - for a centrally cooled home, an electric fan?? So we 'tried' to use it....Now it lies somewhere deep down...dunno where:)

Stage-3 a.k.a 'Use it or lose it' stage -
Utility - Is this reallllllllly useful? Yes
Space in house - Yes
e.g. table lamps, infact we did get pretty neat ones i would say:)

Stage-4 a.k.a 'If we need it, we will buy it' stage
We are yet to reach this stage. You need funding to reach this stage.:)
Utility - Yes, pretty damn useful
Space in house - Yes

So all in all, its been quite a fun, learning and humbling experience. Learnt how fickle life can be. Few months ago, was quite seeing the good side of life and now this :)

Glorious foooooooooooood

Ok, the title has been blatantly plagiarised from the Ice age OST. But the song definitely resonates my feelings for food, all the more after coming here. Heres a list of top 10 items that I am desperately craving for......

10) Sandwiches/Pizzas at Zest
9) Gulab Jamun
8) Bun Maska Chaha at Mehendale
7) Pohe,tea at "Aishwarya" eat out
6) Cold coffee at Durga
5) Sabudaana khichadi
4) SPDP/chat/bhel/puni puri et. all.
3) Jhunka, kanda bhaji at Singhagadh
2) Varan,Bhaat,Bhaji,Poli,Koshimbir et. all.
1) Puran Poli

When I return back, I promise myself to gorge on the above dishes. Wut else can i stuff myself up with? Hmmm...point to ponder...until then, More rice and bread to eat...and that too cooked by me....Buaaahahahahahaha....:(

Alternate career paths...

Yesterday, I watched Hyderabad Blues 2 and remembered that the director/actor Nagesh Kukunoor did his masters in US. He worked here for a few years, but apparently moved to India to follow his passion of film making. So, thought of listing down a few alternate career paths if things dont work out here....
1) Chef - since you have got no choice but to cook your own food, unless you are filthy rich(read your dad's filthy rich) or have got dumb roomies who wont mind cooking for you everyday,(probability of that happening is miniscule) your culinary skills would certainly improve with each day.
2) US education consultant - Ya a no brainer, advising young students, who have absolutely no idea of higher education in US would be a cakewalk.
3) US accent trainer - 2 years in US, you will certainly learn to imitate the american accent. With a little more effort, you could learn the texan drawl or the western dialect. The innumerable call centers back home would fight for you.
4) Author - Just like five point someone, pen down your experiences and who knows, your book might just become a hit. If bhagat's novel can be published, all average writers should dream of publishing theirs too.
and finally
5) Philosopher - You may or may not master the subject that you came to specialize in, but if you dont get any internships, jobs and funding, you are sure to become an expert in philosophy.
To paraphrase Socrates' famous quote:
By all means, do an MS. If you get a good life, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher..

:))
any other paths??

Fall break is prison break time.........

With the fall term half way through, have a fall break of 5 holidays. Time to catch up on some episodes of Prison Break. I had finished season 1 back in India. So after a long hiatus, its back to PB time. The 1st season was awesome. All the characters have been done so amazingly. The actors have done a wonderful job and most importantly, the writers have been able to end episode with the viewer wanting for more. Abruzzi, TBag, Sukre, Lincoln and the hero - Schofield, everyone fits into their roles. Mebbe will write a blog on the characters. Season 4 is here and it would be quite a thing to maintain the interest. Lots of twists, interesting sub plots and those thrilling ends. As they say no one can see just one. You always crave for more episodes......As the tag line goes...."Breaking out was easy, getting away will be hard"

6 Flags nite

Quite a procrastinated blog....

Last friday was quite an amazing night. Another one of those when you got the feeling of being 'alive'. For some moments, let go of my tensions, stresses, inhibitions and had a whale of a time. Heres a rundown of the fun rides that I had at 6 flags. The descriptions are taken from 6 flags advert pamphlet.

1) Goliath - Standing over 200 ft. tall and approaching speeds of upto 70 mph. Goliath is a giant among coasters.

My take: You gotta be a freak to take this ride as your first roller coaster. Hehehe. Seriously, once you take this, the other rides are all paplu. It takes an eternity to reach 200 ft. You feel your hearts and other parts will pop off. And the seats are such that your entire upper body is open. the first fall when you fall straight down is one helluva fall. True to its name, it sure is goliath.5/5

2) Scorcher - Riders stand not sit as they head-over-heels across a looping inverted track.

My take: Initially we thought that my friend was joking. How can you have a roller coaster with people standing?? But then, there we were, standing and thinking, ok what have we got ourselves into. You actually feel the extra g force. Quite an experience standing. Best part is when it inverts you and you are doing shirshasan in motion.:) 5/5

3) Superman (Ultimate flight) - The South's only roller coaster dives head first through tortuously twisted turns and a pretzel shaped inverted loop.

My take: No, they dont quite make you wear your inners outside to ride the roller coaster, come to think of it, that would have been the easier option :P. You sit in a bucket and strap. The floor goes down, and the seats turn so that you are facing the ground. Sounds easy..eh? 5/5

4) Batman (The ride) - Fly with batman on ski lift style trains suspended from the track.

My take: In other rides, theres some breathing space for the riders between loops. This one has none. And the worse part is turn 360 along the length of the track, which is like flipping in a car along the side. Just waiting for the ride and watchin people go all screaming put us in a spin.

Some advice for people taking the roller coaster:
1) Eat/Drink after you have taken all the rides.
2) Think of the thrills/adrenaline rush, instead of the fear of the rides. The moment you think that you wont be able to do the ride, you are right:)
3) When in the ride, just enjoy the ride and yes scream at the top of your voice ;)

Sabse vadda rupaiyya

Recipe for disaster:

Humans of different characters/personalities - 9
Some real psychos/crackpots - 1 is enough, but more the number, larger the explosion
Friendship - Few kilograms
Camaraderie - Lots of it

Wait a sec I thought this recipe is turning into a yummy recipe. Hehe, a potent ingredient is missing

Money conflict - One drop is more than enough

and Boom!!! there goes the entire kitchen up in flames.

Its been only about 3 weeks out here and its disappointing and disgusting to find people squabbling. More than people squabbling, its the fights between friends that disturbs me the most. And the amount of money involved is not that significant. Don't know if thats the 'American Money mindededness' that my fellow indians are getting polluted with, or maybe they are just an exception and I am reading just too much into it. Whatever the case be, the frenzy it has caused is really not worth it.

I am of the opinion that if you can "purchase" peace of mind, you really shouldn't think twice before buying it. Oh! how badly I miss my friends back home where money was the last thing on our minds, in fact it wasn't there at all.

So thats the simplest and quickest recipe for a disaster. If you wanna see the friendship bridges go up in flames in one sec without an atomic bomb being dropped on them, the above mentioned recipe should work well. The sad part is, theses bridges cant be rebuilt at all, no matter how strong the original construction was.

Tamatar waale ki kahani

As I sit and write this blog, I realise that the next 5 months would be crucial. With no funding from the college, my resources are burning up faster than a rocket burns fuel(yikes, what an analogy....hehe) 42 point something something times faster than it would have burnt had I been in India sitting idle. With the insecurities gradually turning into fear, I happened to receive this mail from my friend telling me of a story of the fallen tomato cart. Heres the story. The mail claims it is written by some CEO by the name bagchi. Cant really comment on that but that is unimportant anyways. I found the story interesting and it made me sit up and think. Its interesting that the when I see and compare myself against the tomato vendor, things seem so much better. I have a roof over my head, I have been admitted to a good school. Its true, that we ponder with the what ifs and what if nots that we forget about living in the present. Although the story hasnt lifted my spirits to an extent to which I would have liked it to, but when I see the bigger picture, the longer run (some of the mgmnt mumbo-jumbo that I have learnt), I realise that things will hopefully change and change for the better. I guess I will have to just wait a lot more, dunno how much, but seems like lady luck is still aint impressed with me. Will need some magic for things to change. I hope the wait isnt too long. 5 months to go and the clocks ticking and with each tick, my pulse rates increasing. I just hope that my hope is not hoping against hope. Else work on the backup plan of Wada Paav stall at times square would begin. Beware McD, you guys better hope that things change at my end, else its bad news for you guys.......

'Advice' is what you get when you ask for money

Yep, these are the words with which my previous CTO described the condition which they faced when they went to VCs for funding their startup. I am reminded of the same words as I face almost the same condition. Well, not exactly the same condition, but am looking for money.Anyways, so have met many people and them for funds, and each one has one same advice. "Commit for a PhD, We need long term commitment". So my take is, isnt 2 years long term? Theres this one project which has funding up until 2010. So if the project is not going to last for the entire duration of my PhD, why should these guys expect a long term commitment from me? Anyways, So everyday, my routine has been to pick up my sack, go to some prof, beg for funds, tell him that I am undecided on a PhD, and see the change in his expression, hear the same old advice, thank him, walk back dejected every single day. Dunno how many more times will I have to face the same thing. Seems like this number is going to be high.
Some days I ponder whether this is what I deserve? But then, life wouldnt be life had it been fair you see, atleast in the short term, atleast that is what I would like to believe so.
So here I am, having forefeited a fairly comfy life in search for a more comfy life. I just hope I havent screwed it up. Only time shall tell.
Yeah, "Advice" is surely what you get when you ask for money.

Missing my company.............

Having left my job in the last month and getting back to the old grind of academics, heres the list of things that I am missing.....(not in any particular order)

1) Evening snacks and the long chat sessions with my friends
2) Weekly movie
3) Friends
4) Night outs in front of terminals
5) TT Table
6) Free beverages and biscuits
7) Sweets at desk
8) My Salary :(
9) Flexi timings
10) The parties - birthday, team lunches, release parties.....
11) Entertainment server
:(

Missing everything :(